#FACEPLAMING SO HARD

[literatemisfit]

David thinking he's a daddy when he's spent most of his adult life as a twinkie

No sweetie. That's not... 🤦🏼‍♀️

[newkatzkafe2023]

@lara-legomonkiekid

What if Male monkey Y/N Was a powerful entity but he was a himbo?

We are two halves of a whole idiot-Cosmo and Wanda🤪🥰

(Lmk Wukong) His eye was twitching when he met you, like nobody can be that dumb but here we are. Then again, that's kind of hypocritical on his part, considering a lot of the ideas he had could have gone better🙁. then, one day, your powers caused him to fall on his ass. You mainly did in an attempt to impressed him Which totally worked because , at the end of it all, he had a billion and one questions for you and he wonders if you can teach him how to do half the stuff you did.

(HIB Wukong) How can someone this powerful be this stupid, I mean you make pigsy seem like a genius. Your powers had made up for your lack of intelligence and take raising Luier and Silly girl with him. Your always playing and entertaining Luier and Silly girl and became a playmate/father figure to them as well. Which Wukong What appreciate if it didn't feel like he was raising three children🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

(NR Wukong) I swear with his personality, your lack of intelligence won't be a problem for him, Your hot face and big heart had one him over in no time. You both do extreme and dumb things as couples date together, and your bond has never gotten stronger. Although you two did take a couple of years of life off Li and Su because of your antics. Then the 3 were shocked by the powers you had and were a big help in the fight with the dragon gang. Between the two of us Wukong was heavily turned on by your muscles and power so It's going to be fun rewarding you🤤

(MKR Wukong) Has a brain Anarissam with every interaction. You may be powerful but you are extremely stupid, but not naive like the monk can be. Even with your lack of brain cells he would rather deal with you then deal with pigsy, and the others. Then you one day surprised everyone with your powers especially with helping with the fight with the demon king and even saved Fruity. Wukong may get annoyed with your idiocy, but he will never take you for granted.

(Netflix Wukong) He faceplams at least once a day. Seriously, he never met someone so empty headed that he would tell you the sky is pink, and you would totally believe him. He also shouldn't be talking like he hasn't had some idiot moments, but that's not the point. He was super surprised by your abilities and had happily help him in battle and in personal life, so he Appreciates you greatly.

(BMW Wukong) Your idiocy is his everyday Entertainment, he always has a reason to laugh with you to around. You are silly and have a big heart and are always kind to him, and weirdly affectionate to him, He tries not to blush with your love and cuddles. Well on a brighter note he is also impressed by your powers that you use to help him in the war and had stuck with him to the end.

(Destined one) He sighs alot dued to your lack of brains. Sometimes you can be a burden, but you try so hard to help him with his journey especially with how powerful you are. The Destined one had always noticed you affection and efforts to make everything easy for him. He would smile gently as you trip over your own feet. The Destined one loves his dumb boyfriend and he always will.

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG😵‍💫

[devil-in-hiding]

Kolya is a diminutive of Nikolai!!! They’re for close friends and family!!! 🤭

i hope you know i just faceplamed so fucking hard because i am just a dumb ass if i had used my dumb little brain and realized what it sounded like when i was saying it out loud i would have connected these dots

[ga-yuu]

Yoichi and Shigehira Sequel Cute moments - Part 5 (Yoichi route)

Yoichi: "Now that we're back, don't you think two childhood friends and one girl is a best stage for a love triangle?"

Yoshino: "Haa....?"

Shigehira: *blushing*

Yoichi: "Since I like Yoshino, I'm not losing her to you."

Pulls Yoshino towards him.

Yoshino: *blushing*

(Shigehira-kun help!)

Shigehira (while blushing): "I also care about Yoshino-san! So I won't lose to you!"

Shigehira grabs Yoshino's hand.

Yoichi: "All you can do is hold her hands. That's why you're still a baby."

Yoichi: "However, me, who is older, has many more amazing things to entertain Yoshino.'

Shigehira: "Like?"

Yoichi: "Likeee...."

He pulls Shigehira to the corner with a nasty smile and....

Yoichi: *whisper whisper whisper*

Shigehira: *blushing*

Yoichi: *WHISPER WHISPER WHISPER*

Shigehira: "Aren't you embarrassed!?" *blushing even more*

Yoichi: "You're still too young I guess."

Yoichi: "Well, if Yoshino happens to capture my heart and body one day, then I'll tell her."

Yoichi: "Until then, it's secret~"

(He's just teasing me!)

Shigehira: "I feel bad for you Yoshino-san....you shouldn't go with Yoichi-san."

Shigehira: "You...you're going to have a hard time. That's all I can say."

Yoichi: "Aww. That hurts. But I'll still wait for you though."

Yoshino (blushing): "Yoichi-san. If you say such things so lightly, women might resent you someday."

Yoichi: "It's not something I'd say so lightly to just anyone."

Yoichi: "I've never said anything like that to anyone except to you."

Shigehira and Yoshino: *shocked*

Yoichi: "You're free to believe it or not."

Sueharu (whispering): ".......Hmm, what do you guys think?"

Benkei (whispering): "Yoichi may be a lazy bastard, but he won't do anything like misleading women. That's for sure."

Kurama (whispering): "Usually, he's a person who wants to avoid trouble, but I don't understand why in this case, he is interested in that little puss."

Yoshitsune (whispering): "Sorry, I was so focused on holding my sneeze because Kurama's feather was tickling my nose, so I couldn't listen carefully."

(Even Yoshitsune-sama is here!?)

Shigehira and Yoichi: "...........!"

Yoichi stood up and opened the door to my room.

Yoichi: "What are you guys doing? ANd why is Yoshitsune-sama also involved in this?"

The rest of the Rebels entered my room.

Sueharu: "Thank you for inviting us."

Yoshino: "You're always welcomed."

Benkei: "We came to find Yoichi because we were all planning to eat out. I sincerely apologize for eveasdropping on your conversation."

(Such sincere apology!)

Yoshino: "But I asked the maids to not let anyone walk by in the corridor for the time being."

Sueharu: "Oh that, I politely asked the maid to let us in and that 'I'll take any punishment if something goes wrong.' "

Yoichi: "Haa...and when Sueharu asks something like that, everyone in the mother can't deny it."

(No wonder he's so popular with women!)

Shigehira: "....I don't understand frivolous attitude anyways, but I thought Yoshitsune-sama would at least stop this."

Yoshitsune (no expression): "It's just that, I was concerned about that part where Yoichi wanted to do unholy things to Yoshino."

Yoshino (blushing): "It's a misunderstanding!"

(Don't say things like that with a straight face!)

Shigehira was faceplaming and Yoichi sighs in despair.

Yoshitsune (straight face): "I'm sorry Yoichi. I shouldn't have eavesdropped."

Yoshitsune stepped forward with a straight face.

Yoshitsune (straight face): "But I was concerned about Yoichi because he's an important vassal of mine and also a friend. That's why I was curious."

Yoichi: "................Haa, seriously. Don't say things like that with a straight face. Please."

Yoshitsune (straight face): ".....?"

Shigehira: "......Wow, I've never seen Yoichi-san looking so troubled."

Yoshino: "Me too!"

(Looks like he too is weak against Yoshitsune-sama's charms!)

Yoshitsune (straight face): "I don't know what happened, but it seems like Yoichi and Shigehira's relationship has been fixed."

Shigehira: "Wait! Don't tell me you heard that too!?"

Yoshitsune (straight face): "No, but I can tell from the atmosphere because I've been with Yoichi for a long time."

Shigehira: ".....Mm. I see."

(Shigehira, who really wanted to be by Yoichi's side...)

(Yoshitsune-sama might be a complicated existence for him)

Yoshitsune (straight face): "Congrats."

Yoshitsune (straight face): "Mending a broken relationship is far more difficult than fighting."

Yoshitsune (straight face): "People who have achieved that will have a stronger bond than before."

Yoshitsune (straight face): "No matter how much long I've been with Yoichi, he always had a place for Shigehira in his heart."

Yoshitsune (straight face): "I've always sensed it..."

Yoichi (shy): "You know what, I can't stand this atmosphere.....I'm leaving."

Yoshitsune (straight face): "Wait, I haven't confessed all of my feelings yet."

Yoshitsune (straight face): "Anyways, I'm happy that Yoichi chose me as his Lord."

Sueharu: "I'm happy to be friends with Yoichi. What about Benkei?"

Benkei: ".......His guardian."

Kurama: "I'm nothing but me."

Yoichi: "Thank you!"

Seeing Yoichi-san blushing in the midst of his close friends made me smile.

[griffinscantdraw]

AI scares me that some jobs will no longer be here

I’ve always like the idea of hand drawn animation and artwork because it’s great to see people put time and effort to make something good

The whole ai will take our jobs scares the hell out of me too when it comes to certain things. I heard there's an ai that can animate. ANIMATE!!!! Now people are praising it and saying animators are going to be out of a job... *faceplam* It's ai. It's not perfect. Ai isn't a damn human with a brain. Animating is really hard, time consuming and requires skill. Using ai to animate is like telling a baby to replicate the mona with a crayon. Imagine the result. Bad right? Animators listen up, we've been here before Walt Disney was birthed into the world. I said it once and I'll say it again, WE AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE!!! FUCK AI!!!

Sorry for yet another rant. I'm very flattered you enjoy animation as much as I do. ^^ I want to go to art school one day and learn it myself. Robots can't use that medium to tell stories like any human on earth. Look at disney (good old days), dreamworks, don bluth or indie or online (like tony crynight. used to watch his content as a kid) stuff out there. I want to learn it all to make my own shows/movies/shortfilms, etc. I got so many stories to tell. Right now there's a 2d film that needs support. Here's the teaser. WARNING IT'S DARK AND DISTURBING!!! PLEASE DON'T WATCH IF YOU'RE SENITIVE!!!

Little Red

And this short film made from paper cutouts! PAPER CUTOUTS!!! How creative is that?! :D I can't wait for it!

Gruff

[trippygalaxy]

🐗))

**Not only zelda send reader and frist alone on tasks but the chain too since they trying to *help* the two get together already **

Reader try not to fall for first link since the whole thing yet first link try to talk to reader but is clueless or dumb things come out his mouth.

Four,wild would sneaky follow the two to try the two lovesick fools but they would faceplam to first dumb choices of words so they try to be his wing men on how to talk to a girl/boy.

Four: first say to them that you have lovely eyes.

First: I have lovely eyes.

Four faceplam himself hard as reader say yes he does have lovely eyes but bit confused the same time and continue their task.

LMAOOOO THEY HAVE LIKE MAGICAL EAR PIECES TO TALK TO EACHOTHER LMAOOO Four facepalms so hard that it catches reader's attention and both Wild and Four have to hide back in the bushes!

[doodlesbf]

(( information drop on legend Imagine))

Sia look to wild when he ask that question and she nod, than walk to her mother's desk that warrior sitting on the chair with the books that cover the desk as sia grab one book to see its in monster language and she can tell its in her mother's hand writing.

Warrior: sorry if we snopped since-

Wind: we? Your the one looking around this room!

Time sign and faceplam himself to the two small argument but wild sign and still felt embarrassed about the earlier conversation walk in but he did smile a bit to imagine hyrule in a dress and try not to laugh as hyrule glance a side eye to wild seeing him try not laugh about something but he had a feeling it's about himself being the maid of honor dress talk.

Sia open the book cover to see a drawing of what look to be her mother when she was young but with her parents looking like a happy family til sia star to were her mother's father is and slow look to were legend is and back to the drawing portrait and her eyes widen a bit to the discovery. This catch the attention of four,twilight and sky.

Twilight: hey sia? Did you find-

Sia couldn't speak but lift the book and turn it to see the three on why only for the three boys to look at the page drawing and sky gasp loud enough to draw the attention of everyone and before one of them open their mouths to ask, sia turn to legend and walk up to him and show him on what she found as legend looking confused he grab the book to take a look and seeing the drawing portrait and see himself but bit older, have a family.

Legend: wait.....that's me? I-i ,who is she?-

Sia reach over to point to the women next to drawing of older legend.

Sia: that's my grandma and my mother.

Legend hands shaking to hear that and star at the drawing portrait, he slowly look to the girl in the drawing portrait see she have his eyes, hair even his smile and some features from the women too that he look up to sia and see her have some of his features that he fell to his knees hard as sia grab him gently by the shoulders in case he fell yet is on her knees to as legend now shaking due to the portrait drawing and some time in his future he'll have a family, grandkids but he look up to see only sia as the others are around them clearly worry but unknown to legend he tears up.

Sia: legend, please don't cry-

Legend: your-r my grandchild....yet my hyrule....the deads of.. your family...i-

Sia gently shh legend and gently pull him close to hug him to comfort him yet use her two top small wings to shift them bigger in order to cover legend so the others don't see him crying but legend grip/hug sia tightly and bite back the crys he almost let out. He's sia's grandfather yet he wasn't here for her or her mother even in their family but the tears continued to fall freely down his face as sia continued to comfort him and time manage to get everyone out the room since this is a new information drop only for legend,sia but he did let warrior grab few book before leaving.

Since the group left the two be they all decided to just take a break since this is emotional and plus sky,four,wind go outside to get a breather. Wild goes right to cooking with twilight as warrior and time just stay in the livingroom to plan on what to do yet all are waiting for the two to come down after sia make sure legend okay enough to go downstairs.

[number-1-kuaidul-fanboy]

YGO Chocobox Event Day 3: Seemingly Unrequited Pining

Description: Cathy/Kotori. Cathy pines for Kotori, who’s currently in a relationship with Yuma. (Established Kotori/Yuma.)

Word count: 887

Link to the AO3 version if you prefer: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45099949 

“Are you two ready?” Cathy whispered, peeking out from behind her camera lens.

“I am,” Yuma answered, folding his arms. “Kotori, your hair looks fine. You don’t need to spend twenty minutes brushing it just for a few pictures.”

“Yeah, just gimme a sec, Yuma,” Kotori grumbled, repeatedly running a comb through the bangs of her hair. “I wanna look my best for the photos.”

“You already look your best!” Yuma exclaimed, “You always look your best!”

Kotori snorted with laughter. “Yeah, to you maybe.”

And to me… -Cathy couldn’t say it out loud. Not ever, not to Kotori, and especially not with the girl’s boyfriend right there…

“There’s no need to rush,” Cathy insisted, “I don’t have any plans today so I can wait as long as you need me to.”

As she spoke, Cathy’s gaze was fixed on Kotori, who didn’t seem to notice her. No different from usual…

“I don’t wanna keep you waiting too long, Cathy,” Kotori insisted, pocketing her comb and turning to Yuma. “We can take them now.”

“Yes!” Yuma hopped with joy. “Couple’s photo time! You and me first, Tori!”

Tori… what a cute nickname, Cathy thought. They were so cute, Kotori and Yuma, the last thing Cathy wanted was to ruin things for them. They were her friends and she wanted their happiness.

So… why did the sight of that happiness make her heart ache so much?

Yuma looped an arm around Kotori's shoulder. Kotori nuzzled closer, smiling as she put two fingers over Yuma’s head to resemble bunny ears. It was hard to see behind his helmet like hair, but the attempt was there. Cathy slowly raised her camera.

“Ready?” she murmured.

“Yeah! Cheese!” Yuma exclaimed, smiling toothily.

Kotori gave a small smile as well, holding up a peace sign. Cathy snapped the photo. Yuma and Kotori pulled apart as Cathy turned to gaze at the photo, which showed the two of them smiling and holding each other. Cathy’s gaze, however, fixed specifically on Kotori. Even in a photo, she was beautiful. Her big hazel eyes, bouncy green hair, and bright smile seemed to deal piercing damage to Cathy’s heart points.

“How’d the picture turn out?” Yuma asked, shaking Cathy from her thoughts.

Cathy looked up at them. “Oh, uh, I think it’s good.” She flipped the photo around to show them. “You’re… both so… photogenic.”

“Oh, thanks…” Kotori looked away, looking confused and flustered.

“Uuuuuh,” Yuma tilted his head to the side. “What does ‘photogenic’ mean?”

Kotori faceplamed. “It means you look good in photos, Yuma.”

“Oh!” Yuma’s face lit up. “Thanks Cathy!”

“Haha yeah…” Cathy handed Yuma the photo and turned away.

“Cathy?” Kotori sounded concerned.

“Um…” Cathy gazed at the camera, which still showed the most recently taken picture. “Kotori… do you um…” Cathy turned to look at her. “Do you want to like… take a picture together? As friends?”

“Huh?” Kotori looked stunned for a moment. “Oh yeah, sure. You’ll just… have to show Yuma how to hold the camera, I have no idea how to-”

“No need.” Cathy turned the camera around to point it at herself. “C’mere.”

“Oh… uh…” Kotori stepped to Cathy’s side, gazing curiously into the camera lens.

Cathy held it further back. “Say cheese,” she instructed, wrapping an arm around Kotori’s shoulder.

Kotori smiled, humming happily. Cathy couldn’t help but smile as well as she snapped the photo. Then printed it out to look at it.

“Perfect,” Cathy mused.

“Hey, can you print more than one of those?” Kotori asked. “I want to keep one as well.”

Cathy’s face flushed. “Yeah, sure.”

She printed a second copy of the photo to hand to Kotori. Then with a sigh she turned away again.

“Well… enjoy the photos,” Cathy’s voice was low. “See you around.” And with that, she walked away.

“O-okay…” Kotori waved. “Later Cathy!”

Yuma stepped toward his girlfriend, having just watched the whole thing with a knowing smirk on his face. Now however he frowned in disappointment.

“Come on, Tori,” he grunted, “You had a golden opportunity just now to tell her. Why didn’t you?”

Kotori gasped, her cheeks turning bright pink. “Yuma! We’ve talked about this! Even if she’s not just being friendly, I can’t like her. I like you.”

“And I’m telling you that you can like both,” Yuma insisted, taking her hand. “I won’t be jealous.”

“Yeah, but Cathy might,” Kotori looked away, her heart aching at the thought. “If she isn’t already I mean, and I don’t wanna hurt her.”

“Would it really hurt her if you were just honest with her?” Yuma asked.

“I…” Kotori looked away. “I don’t know. Maybe I should…” She glanced off in the direction where Cathy had been. Then at the photo in her hand. “Maybe, but… not yet… not yet…”

“Tori, you’ve been saying that for weeks now!” Yuma exclaimed.

Kotori rolled her eyes. “Don’t exaggerate like that, Yuma.”

“No, really, it’s been exactly fourteen days.” Yuma pulled out a calendar, pointing to the lines of days he’d circled in red. “I’ve been counting.”

Kotori blinked. “Yuma… that’s only twelve.”

“Huh?!” Yuma looked at the calendar. “Well, whatever! That’s still a long time!”

“I know, I know…” Kotori dipped her head, letting out a sigh. “Okay fine, next time I see her… I’ll… try to tell her…”

[sirenofthedeepsea]

*Calypso sighs*

"Yeah, I annoy entities like Eyefestation or Angler even my good friend, Sebastian to find any book about Mythology around this place. But Eyefestation won't stop yapping about how pretty it is like a goddess, Angler is too busy with its bloodlust against expendables and Sebastian won't leave his shop and tells me to ask me to ask the expendables even though I am a hostile entity to them unless they take me Sebastian's shop. Is it hard for him to get his tail through the vent?" *Calypso groans*

*Calypso looks at her before thinking of an answer*

"I would say mine favourite is the odyssey since it was my mother's favourite and she named me after Calypso from the Odyssey, Scylla's story, Circe's story and any myths with the gods and goddesses in it. I named three of my eels from characters in Greek mythology in a way, I have a eel named Poseidon, A eel named Odysseus and a eel named Ulysses. I know Ulysses comes from roman mythology and is the same of Odysseus. But he named himself, not me. He got jealous that his brother got a cool sounding name so he decided to mimic his brother's name but with the roman's spelling. I would name him something different but he was so hellbend on his name that he chose so i let him have it." *Calypso faceplams as she talks about her eels*

*Calypso pops her head out the water*

"Hi there!!" *Calypso smiles*

Casey jumped a bit. She looked down at Calypso as she smiled softly.

"Hey there! You must be one of the entities down here, hm?"

She hummed as she looked down at Calypso. Even kneeling down to be at her level.

[adazzlingsakura]

And here you can see how Dick "no cowl" Grayson has a collective Head damage (over different medias) rivaling that of Jason "crowbar to the skull" Todd

Exhibit A: Rock to the head

Exhibit B: Shot in the head

Exhibit C: Rock to the head (*sighs* again)

Exhibit D: Ice Sculpture to the head

Bonus Exhibit: Ketchup to the head (his head isn't even safe from the freaking condiment king of all people)

[maagicmiss]

That day humanity received a grim reminding : Jean and his clique of theater nerds know how to use photoshop and to break into highschool’s grounds...

How will Reiner the Jock and Annie the bad girl counter-attack Drama Boi Jean ? They tried to destroy all the pictures but there was so many of them !! They could but accept their tragic destiny...

SNK highschool AU where Jean, Reiner and Annie share only one (1) brain cell and it’s loving Ultra Chad Mikasa

[traumacat800]

Short Preview of the next chapter of Every Kiss Begins with Kill!!

There’s five things you know about Bob.

1.

He’s attractive and He doesn’t like your Tv being on the news channel. 

2. You're sure he’s some type of butcher.

3. Sometimes he comes to you, spelling weirdly metallic, almost like blood. (You assume it’s because he’s a butcher, however sometimes he tastes like it too when you kiss him.)

4. He's large and soft. 

5. He’s a jokester. Sometimes he’ll pretend to leave through your window. Little do you know he’s hiding in the dark, waiting to scare you. He seemed to get a kick out of your scream. It always made him laugh. 

Strangely, Brazen didn’t like him very much, but she was a good wingdog, smart enough to understand and hang on your every word. It was a bit weird though, the last time someone asked you out around three years ago she seemed pretty supportive. She didn’t bark at any of your other neighbors. Sure, sometimes she barks at the Tv. Still, never a person unless they were an intruder. Something told you that shouldn’t be happening. However, you realized that if Bob was a butcher then Brazen would obviously smell the blood scent on him. No wonder she thought he was dangerous. You mentally faceplamed yourself, for a 18 year old senior in high school, you could be a bit dumb sometimes. You’d have to explain to her later that he wasn’t dangerous. 

As much as you quarreled with Bob about games, you loved him. You loved him a lot. In fact, you started to wish that you could see him outside of night. You’d voiced this a bit guiltily to him.  As you felt that you shouldn’t bother him with your worries. He probably had to take care of killing poor helpless animals everyday and you're asking even more of him??? It just felt a bit greedy to want more than he already gives you. You just wanted to see his face, go on dates and do cute couple stuff. You just couldn’t help it, you loved him. You just needed more of him. After you’d voiced your feelings to him, he promised you’d have a date. However he couldn’t take you out but he did promise to bring some things for the date. You would provide the housing and decorations. 

He would bring the food. 

——-

I hope I can have the full third chapter out today or tomorrow? I’m really behind on schedule and this chapter has just been hitting me so HARD and idk why.

You can read the story here

[bubblegumroyal]

natadochoco is completely right and when aachan realizes what it says he'd faceplam so hard 🤣 meanwhile suzaku would be laughing till his stomach hurt (you can't covince me they don't go shopping together looking for sales going on)

Low effort meme :)

no way haruaki would totally be the sasa lele lmao

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

one day, in bonten timeline, Ran and Rindou tried to kidnap Inupi for Koko's birthday. Inupi stab Ran's right foot with one of his heels and punch Rindou's nose so hard that he broke it. And when Koko learned it? the brothers have had a lot of more important problems (Koko as like "when i said "don't touch him, it mean that you stay away of him") XD

Years later and Inupî is still feral, even if he's adult.

Sanzu laughed when he learned it but what he will never said to the brothers is that Koko punched him hard, years before, when Sanzu has told him "do you know that i know where live you cute friend?" because he wanted to make sure that Koko would not do anything funny. He said "it wasn't a threat! Koko has overreacted!" later to Mikey but clearly it was a threat and Mikey just sighed and faceplamed.

Koko becomes Feral when someone touches/threats Inupi.

Oh Inui would definitely mess them up if he had the chance, he's been waiting for this for years, the guys who inadvertently took the black dragons down. That's a very long grudge. He may be mainly reformed thanks to Takemichi but I bet he would still hold a grudge in this timeline.

Koko would definitely not be happy with this too. I feel like he'd want Inui far away from that lifestyle. Inui made his choice all those years ago and although Koko probably missed him I think he'd respect it and actually be glad since Inui wouldn't be in as much danger as him.

[yourstruly-caycay]

Father’s Approval

Part 3

Poseidon

To the boy who date Poseidon's daughter, I am so sorry, you will never be able to date his daughter in peace nor get his approval. Just give up.

Poseidon see his daughter and wife as someone who is equal and dear to him, so seeing a low-life dating his daughter will only receive a death glare from him.

It all start when Poseidon and his wife notice that his daughter, Cordelia, somehow has been dressing up a bit too fancy and often style her hair. Even sometimes going out at night.

Poseidon wouldn't care at first since she's all grown up and responsible, she isn't even a type of person who would like to partying and can be serious too just like him — maybe is just her change of preference.

Until one day...

After the meeting that Poseidon attend, he's planning to immediately go home to his wife when suddenly he found his daughter with a guy, silently watching them quite far away.

The guy is somehow really close to her, Poseidon realize that they're about to kiss. He immediately strike his trident to inbetween them, fortunately Cordelia able to notice it quickly and save him as it hit the wall, she recognize the trident as both of them turn around to meet Poseidon with a deadliest glare that it scare the shit out of the poor guy.

"What is the meaning of this, Cordelia?"

“I can explain it."  

“You’ll explain this at home.” He grab his trident and hold her hand as Cordelia look at the guy in apologize, Poseidon take a last glare at the poor guy before facing away. Yep, she’s dead, thinking that she will face his anger. However, it’s actually on the opposite one, he’s mad because a low-life touching his daughter, even try to kiss her. Why would she even want to kiss him?

During the ride to home, Cordelia have her usual stoic face just like Poseidon, but deep down, she’s really nervous. She knew that her father wouldn’t agree nor even accept her boyfriend — it’s really troublesome. 

When they arrive, Cordelia casually explain to her parent that the guy is actually her boyfriend and have plan to tell them sooner, it’s a bit relief to her because her mother congratulate her. Poseidon instead have a frown on his face, as expected.

“Why would you date a low-life?” He ask her.

“Because I love him.” She said simply, Poseidon click his tongue as he go away from them. You sigh at his reaction, yourself also couldn’t be surprise by him. 

“If you love him, then just do it, beside I’m sure your father is just worried about you.”

Cordelia just stay silent, although she doesn’t care much what her father thought, maybe she fall for her boyfriend too hard that she can’t resist of holding it anymore.

Cordelia make sure she’ll date her boyfriend secretly without Poseidon’s knowing, unfortunately Poseidon himself actually know that his daughter still date the low-life that he label it. But, he rather keep it quiet to not disappoint Cordelia (as nice as it may sound). Beside, if the low-life dare to hurt her, his trident can just effortlessly strike him and make sure the low-life's death will be painful.

There was a time when Poseidon accidentally heard his daughter talk with you about her boyfriend, she probably won’t ever talk about this in front of her father. Poseidon himself won't be convince from the conversation itself either and just frown.

At least the nicest thing he do or he believe that he did it is where he’ll always give a glare as a warning to her boyfriend whenever Poseidon see him with or without his daughter.

He secretly begin to overthinking about his daughter well-being ever since the news, he have plot some torture for the boy if he ever try to cheat on her. Only his wife that notice this, and try to calm him which sometimes it work, But if not, she’ll just sigh and shake in disappointment. 

There’s this day when Poseidon see his daughter got wounded during the tournament, he's silently concern cause of her wound. But later after the tournament, he follow you to find Cordelia.

But then, the two of you found her boyfriend patch up her injury in nursery room. Although, you're hiding while watching them with Poseidon behind you.

"Y/n, why are we hiding-"

"Shh, this is the first time I see them together, let them be and don't try to kill the poor boy."

You admire the boy on how gentleman and kind he is, you're a bit worried at first about the relationship, but it seem to turn out to be fine. But, you silently chuckle at Poseidon who seem to be intensely watching them as if the boy would try to hurt her anytime.

"You did an amazing job at fighting during the tournament." Her boyfriend said with a smile, the compliment make a slight blush on her face as she quietly nod. Although, she's a bit dissapoint that he didn't really show concern about her.

"Why aren't you worried about me? You know I can injured badly anytime."

"Ridiculous, you're my daughter, and you would rarely get injured." Poseidon thought.

"Because why would I be worried when my girlfriend is a strong woman? You're perfect in my eyes." He kiss the wound that he patch it up, it actually make it worst cause now Cordelia can't hide her blush within her stoic face and playfully hit him.

"You better keep your words."

"Ofcourse I am." Her boyfriend find it cute whenever she try to hide her blush, but she suddenly hug him to hide her embarrass as he hug her back while laughing.

You instead silently feel touch with his word as Poseidon notice this and get a bit jealous.

"Aaah, I'm glad my girl get a man like him."

"Tch, he better not be lying."

"See Poseidon, you shouldn't be worry too much about their relationship, let's just go back."

"I still wouldn't accept him though."

You roll your eyes and literally have to pull him just to go back, somehow this is kinda remind you of the day where Poseidon is still a cold-heart person before he slowly change because of you and your daughter.

Basically like father like daughter, both of them almost like a twin in your eyes. They're serious, cold, lonely, and emotionless. But, they just need someone dear to them to warm their cold heart.

But yeah, deep down, you're actually faceplamed because of how stubborn Poseidon is. Getting his approval is just impossible, and just from the scene that both of you saw still doesn't convince him that the low-life he still call to the poor guy can take care of his daughter.

To be continue~

[stressedoutcanary]

Family Matters - Batfamily x Reader

Summary: A surprise birthday party and Batfamily being chaotic.

“That's it Dick just a little to the right...No the other right...No! Not there you goofus! Just...Just get down from the chandelier before it comes crashing down on the rest of us and For God's Sake let Duke handle the ribbons before you somehow strangle yourself with them”

Warnings ⚠️: Fluff, lots of it, angst because I can’t help myself, Reader has got some parental issues. Hurt/Comfort.

Word count: 2.4k

A/N: I wanted some good dad Bruce content so I did it myself. Also I might have been influenced by a post I made a while back about Bruce and his children. I haven't used reader's pronouns anywhere so it's kinda gender neutral.

I don’t know where I was going with this, my imagines are often like a train derailed from its track but I think it’s fine. So Enjoy ;)  

•°•°•°•°

"Focus (Y/S/N), don't jump in in blind, assessing what action your opponent is about to undertake and countering it out before they can complete that action, this is the key lesson for you today", Batman's commanding voice echoed in the enclosed area of the batcave as he observed you attempting to roundhouse kick the boy in front of you. It was rather rashly executed with the hope of knocking him down which, for obvious reasons, only ended up with your leg connecting with nothing but thin air.

'Damn he is fast when he actually tries.'

"Easy for you to say Old Man! You aren't the one dancing with Mister Duckboy, the teen wonder over here!", you exclaimed, panting as your chest heaved from the exertion.

"Duckboy?!", Tim looked near scandalized as you grinned in return, stealing a glance towards the giggling crowd gathered near the stairs.

Everyone was already in the cave, it was a rare occurrence, it happened only when the issues of upmost importance were being discussed. Today was one of those days; The planning of Alfred Pennyworth's surprise birthday party.

However things usually went a lot less violent, this day every year. The sparring session this year was the result of you messing up, real bad while on patrol last night and since you were around the same age as Tim, he was found to be the most appropriate partner for it. The only drawback was that he had a staff in his hands while your weapons were confiscated, because in Bruce's words 'you rely on them too much'. You were already tired and Tim had a huge advantage over you, if you wanted to win this match you had to be quick and efficient at the same time.

Distracting Tim by your comment allowed you to have an opening, gathering all your strength you went in for a forward strike. Unfortunately he was more than ready to take you on, he crouched down, narrowly missing your punch then proceeded to swipe your legs off of the ground with his bo staff making you fall butt first on the floor.

"Congratulations you've managed to hurt both my ass and my ego, Timbers", You said laying back on the ground, hands and legs spread out and instead of helping you up, Tim joined you on the floor sitting next to you. You gave him a look that was equivalent to 'next time I get the chance, I am going to push you off a roof'.

"Your skills need improvement", Bruce said in his monotonous tone as you grunted knowing that a full ass lecture was gonna follow, but before he could get another word out, Jason chimed in with a statement no one ever expected to hear from him,"You know (Y/N), he's not wrong in fact I think the old man's actually got a point."

Jaws dropped to floor, Tim looked like he just saw a ghost, Dick who was standing near Barbara pinched himself to see whether he was dreaming or not, Damian snapped his neck up from where he was sharpening his katana, even Titus and Ace perked their heads up at the sudden silence that settled over the place. Barbara, Cass, Duke and Steph looked equally shocked.

"Before you all get any ideas, what I'm trying to say is you better pay attention because B over here won't be able to save your ass, 'cause if you slack off the next thing you know you would be in a warehouse with a maniac, getting blown to bits", Jason looked at Bruce with accusing eyes.

'And here I thought he was finally going to say something sensible', you thought to yourself as he continued,

"Take it from someone who has had that experience, you guys remember right? The fact that I--"

"Died, we know!!", everyone groaned at the same time and Bruce looked like he had to physically restrain himself from faceplaming.

"Okay! Guys how about we go ahead and do the thing we all actually came here to do instead of... whatever this conversation was", you suggested, getting up and patting the dust off your clothes.

"Well then someone has got to ask the important question here", Barbara looked around as she worded her sentence,"who is going to be the one to keep Alfred busy while we get everything ready?"

Once again the cave went silent. For a whole bunch of detectives, you all were very, very scared of Alfred, including Bruce even though he will never admit it, lying to The old-butler-cum-grandpa and making random excuses for the whole 3 hours was a thought dreadful enough to make all of you exchange petrified glances at each other hoping someone would step forward to do the job.

"I'll do it", dick raised his hand.

"NO!", everyone snapped and Dick's head tilted with a pout.

"You are good at doing a lot of stuff boy wonder, hiding things from Alfred isn't one of them", Barbara comforted Dick as Damian stepped up next.

"*tt* Since none of you imbeciles have the courage or the ability to do it. I shall be the one to handle Pennyworth. Gordon, Cain and Titus, I will require your assistance", Damian spoke or rather commanded as he went up the stairs, followed by the group he chose.

"Don't mess this up for us, you gremlin!"

"Tim!", you lightly jabbed him in the side with your elbow.

"Ow! What?"

"Be nice", you narrowed your eyes and he understood you were being serious.

"Fine I'll try, but don't blame me if he starts something", Tim shrugged carelessly. You shook your head and let out an audible sigh as you followed everyone else up towards the manor.

•°•°

"That's it Dick just a little to the right...No the other right...No! Not there you goofus! Just...Just get down from the chandelier before it comes crashing down on the rest of us and For God's Sake let Duke handle the ribbons before you somehow strangle yourself with them", you eyed him worriedly.

"Oh come (Y/N) it'll be fine!", the cheerfulness in his voice made you cock an eyebrow at him from below. Duke slid in beside you.

"10 bucks says he will somehow fall within the next hour"

"Oh Duke you should know better, 20 says he'll fall within 30 minutes", you turned towards him with an evil smile.

"What are you both talking about down there?"

"NOTHING!", you both said in unison on which Dick gave you a confused look.

"Oh Hey look Steph needs my help with the cake so, see ya!", you quickly moved to the other side of the room checking in with Stephanie and Tim. She gave you a thumbs up to signal that everything was going according to plan and the place was almost ready. Everyone was laughing, bickering, having fun, it was all very rare and seeing it, a warm feeling spread throughout you.

You smiled to yourself for a moment but it faltered and a frown pulled up at your lips, a sorrowful thought crossed your mind, something you always kept buried deep down. Looking around and seeing as nobody needed your help at the moment you decided to slip out of the chaos, taking slow steps towards the patio to clear your head.

•°•°

Leaning against the railing you thought back to how you left your house this morning telling your mother that you are going to stay at your friend's place for a while and how she just waved her hand at that, not even questioning you anymore. Your mind was completely elsewhere, despite the awe-inspiring dense forest right in front of you, your eyes were lost in space.

You registered, a bit too late, the presence of someone standing beside you.

"It is a nice view, but something tells me that's not what brought to out here, away from everyone else"

"Careful there Brucie or people might think that you are actually capable of some emotions which happen include caring for people", you retorted back at him. It was always a sort of defense mechanism for you, whenever you felt exposed you countered it with snarky remark.

You closed your eyes hoping that Bruce would just walk away. But he didn't. He stayed there.

Bruce leaned on the railing beside you and waited. You took a deep breath, contemplating you next move carefully.

"...Look It's really silly so can we drop it?", you whispered wondering why in the world would Bruce of all people, care about your feelings.

"Talk to me (Y/N). I can tell when something is bothering you, I may not be your father, but you are my family.", unlike usual, his voice was gentle and genuine when he spoke to you.

"I am really not a fan of surprise birthdays", you stated, starting off vaguely.

"And why is that?"

"Because I...It's silly but this one time I spent a whole week working on a birthday gift for my mom, it was like a craft pop up box which had multiple photos of us together, I made that from scratch! everything in it I made that, I worked hard for it, I did it out of love but when I gave her that surprise gift you know what she said Bruce! She said that I wasted my time that she would've been much happier if I had focused on my studies, she never even once said that she liked it and I--", you looked at him with tears brimming in your eyes, threatening to spill.

"I don't know Bruce, it-it just makes me feel sad you know? every little thing reminds me that my mother doesn’t seem to love me anymore. There is this constant thought in my mind that no one cares about me, about what I do for them and I don’t know what to do with a thought like that."

"That's not true, look around you kiddo, you are surrounded by people who would do anything for you, who love you from the bottom of their hearts", Bruce finally looked at you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"That's the thing! I am not an orphan!", you blurted out and Bruce looked more confused than ever.

"I'm aware"

"No! No you are not. I am not one of those kids you picked up from somewhere, I don't live here, Like I am sure you people aren't even sane, hell! you all make up the most dysfunctional family I have ever seen! I don’t belong here, you people have no reason to care about", Bruce gave you a sideways look, slightly chuckling at your sudden description of the people in the manor.

"But I still love everyone, my mom, you, every dumbass inside the manor right now, no matter much pain they cause me and I don't get why", this time when he looked at you, you didn't look like the vigilante who sucker punched The Riddler in the face last night, you looked like a scared little kid who is lost.

Bruce stood up straight and wrapped you in a hug. Something you never expected to happen in a million years. The shocked settled in after a bit and you wrapped your hands around him, burying your face in his chest.

"The people we love are still people at the end of the day. They act out, and sometimes they let us down, hurt us even, but that doesn't mean we stop loving them. For every bad memory, there will always be a good one that will get you through it. I promise you that (Y/N)", Bruce pulled away and gave you a warm smile. You couldn't help but smile back, your face matching his.

"Okay who are you and what have you done with Bruce Wayne? because I don't recognize this man who is full of emotions and on top of that, is giving free hugs right now", you broke into a grin, making Bruce's face go back to the stoic version.

"If you tell anyone, I will deny it"

"Sure you will"

Suddenly a clattering sound came from the hall, alerting you both. This, however, was followed by a 'I'm okay!' By the one Dick Grayson, which in turn was followed by Duke's 'Oh no!'

"Any idea what that was about?", Bruce inquired raising an eyebrow as you burst out laughing.

"That, you big softie, was the sound of me getting my 20 dollars, now let's get back before they destroy everything."

•°•°

You and Bruce entered back into the hall, everyone was gathered around waiting for Damian and his group to signal the beloved butler's arrival. You stood next to Tim as Jason moved towards the switches to turn off the lights.

"Okay I'll bite why are you covered in frosting before the party even started?"

"Steph", Tim replied, too tired to elaborate, leaving you giggling.

Barbara, Cass and Damian rushed through the door, looking close to terrified, with Titus tagging along.

"He is here, HIDE!", Damian said quickly closing the doors.

After a few moments, the door creaked open and Alfred's voice came through, "Master Damian, you and I will have words for what you did to-- Oh my", he was stuck to his position at the door, too shocked to say anything more after looking at the decorations and bunch gathered around an enormous cake.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALFRED!!", you all exclaimed with extreme excitement.

As the party went on you noticed that there was, in fact, a broken chandelier broomed to the side, later on there were a few not-at-all-safe stunts performed by the boys, some really bad puns made by Dick, all sorts of shenanigans by the others and cake, lots of cake. You looked around, everyone was busy doing something but now you knew Bruce was right:

You have one hell of a family, original, found or otherwise. And you love them all no matter what.

°•°•°•°•

Tags: @thesesickfics-justmakemesick